Restlessness

Despite my active imagination, I don't think my mind has been so jumpy in a long time. Constantly moving from job to life to travel to lunch menu to rain and repeat with some new variables.

I've been at my new job over a week and it's been a painfully slow start. All I seem to do is read blogs and go out drinking with colleagues. I doubt my younger self would have complained about this, but sadly I'm older and in a real big hurry to kickstart my career and attain eternal fame, wealth and prosperity.

Yesterday, finally I managed to get some work an then I realised I'm not as quick at picking things up as I used to. Or maybe I've been so bored at work the past week my brain is simply refusing to compute and understand the counter-intuitive softwares used by the company. Eitherways it isn't making me feel smart and therefore I am not liking my job already.

On the train into work today, I regretted my loss of wonder when I used to gape at everything and be a tourist. Now I just feel like one of the many zombies, running through life just to get onto the 8:07 train in time.

I need to calm down. Calm my mind down. This big mug of black coffee isn't helping.

First day of work at the new job tomorrow. My clothes are ironed and kept in the study. Bag packed. Tummy full of butterflies. Nervous like the first day of school.

Will there be bullies? Will there be friends? Where will this lead me? Delicious excitement of the first page of a book.