Dear Dot

You finished one full week of school today. 

I know this is not easy for you. You are used to walking into a daycare where everybody knows you and you have your closest allies by your side - Sabrina, Amaya, Mylo and Olga. 

You feel alone and a little bit frightened walking into the big boy school every morning. But you get over it. You settle in once we've left and have a great time everyday.

Soon you will make friends and from then on you will love going to school. These really are the wonder years. You will explore, get up to mischief, share secrets, scrape your knees, make really close friends and flourish in the coming years. 

I always knew you are curious, social, kind, gentle and loving. Today I also saw how brave you are. You fought back your tears and told me it's alright to leave when I dropped you off at school. 

I could only fight back my tears till I reached the car.

Dear Dot

Loads has happened since I last posted.

End of July was your last day at daycare. I don't think you realised the full impact of this phase of your life coming to an end but I probably felt it enough for both of us. I cried about you missing your daycare buddies and your routine since you were eight months old. We threw a farewell party for all your friends to come have one last party in our Lewisham house.

Beginning of August we moved to our new house in Bromley. You fell in love with the new place and your new routine of no-daycare shockingly quickly. Dadi being around helped of course. Once again I bore the grief of missing the familiar for both of us. It's been a month now and I'm finally getting used to the move.

You start "big boy school" this Thursday. Once again I'm feeling the nervous excitement and anxiety for both of us. You are acting cool as a cucumber, as if it's no big deal. 

I probably feel a little more than I should anyways and I have been trying to make you aware of these big changes and "feel" something about it. It's very important to me that you feel and express the full spectrum of emotions. 

But after a discussion with Dad I realise I'm probably going about this in a way that makes little sense to you. You are free of all these "feelings". You are happy in the now. You don't spend time being sad about something that's in the past or worry unnecessarily about something in the future. You take it as it comes. And you always come out happy. 

There is a lot to learn from little people before the world teaches you how and how much to feel. 

Be happy, always, like you are today!